You made me cry and you don't even care
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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