he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
