you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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