A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
