I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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