We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
