Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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