its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
