so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
