Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ugly people sure do ruin things
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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