Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm just crazy horny about you
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
