So drunk, too bad you don't want this
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So squirting runs in the family.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
