is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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