i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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