quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
