My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
