After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize