Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He better not be in your backpack
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just pee around me
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
