I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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