the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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