"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
