I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
