And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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