your room smells of hookers.
And success
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
