So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Randomize
