Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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