It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
