Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
