I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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