i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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