I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
