I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
