the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize