Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
