3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
