Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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