Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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