watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
