What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
