too bad you live with your parents still
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
