I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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