this boner is exhausting
is wine microwaveable?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
