I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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