I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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