THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Randomize