On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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