So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
