I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
