In the future we'll all be gay
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
