How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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