I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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