yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
