Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
