3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
