I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
