Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
