Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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