I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
